ｔｈｉｒｄ。 ｗｒｉｔｔｅｎ。

[repudiate]

[ locked away from breaks_destiny so much ]

[ she can't even bring herself to use voice for this - just sending this message out in general is already embarassing enough, but she can't think of it by herself, so.. have some written text, Luceti. ]

So, let's say there's a person who did a lot for you, and even though you still can't really take it in you feel like you should at the very least try to do something back for them in return. Since it's only natural, and maybe you want to show you care as well or whatever. Something like that.

But all the things they did are so big combined that you can't even start to think of something that would be big enough or of equal value to give in return. So.. what should you even do in a situation like that?

... Purely hypothetical, I mean.

......

This is stupid.

Comments

[ written ]

[repudiate]

Just telling him doesn't compare to all he's done for me, though.

I guess that's true. He would probably like a gift no matter what it is, just for the sake of it being a gift.

[ written ]

[fierybluebird]

All right, tell him with a special gesture. Like something you'd never normally do. Or bake food or something.

Exactly. Which seems more challenging because you have to be creative, but it's actually pretty easy, because as long as the intent is there, they'll respect that the most.

[ written ]

[repudiate]

Unfortunately I'm horrible with baking. I don't think he'd really like burnt cookies, no matter how 'special' they may be.

Still, the problem is that I have to weigh up against what they did for me.

[ written ]

[fierybluebird]

Well, what are you good with?

I don't think so. Being friends isn't keeping scales to weight that sort of thing. Or the very process alone is too weighty. It's probably better to look at it like everything on both sides gets you both closer to the same goal. So long as you're trying to return favors, the weight of them isn't so important, you'll find other ways without even realizing it.

[ written ]

[repudiate]

I don't know. I don't think I'm someone with a special talent for anything or even skills in a certain area, so it's hard to think of something.

Both sides getting you closer to the same goal, huh.. And what would that goal be, in that case?

[ written ]

[fierybluebird]

Everyone is good at something, Miss. Sometimes it just takes a little discovery or practice.

The end goal is a partnership of some kind. Either as best friends, siblings, or more.

[ written ]

[repudiate]

That just sounds like one of those corny lines you'd find in an advice column.

The problem is that I'm not entirely sure of what the end goal should be in this case.

[ written ]

[fierybluebird]

I'm not sure what that is, but it's still true.

Well, don't be too worried about that yet, perhaps? Sometimes it's the journey itself that points the way.

[ written ]

[repudiate]

So you're telling me to figure it out along the way? But what if it's already too late by then?

[ written ]

[fierybluebird]

Then seize the moment as soon as you can.

If it's romantic, then the worst that could happen is you'll stay good friends, and if it's something else, it's always better to let them know while you can.

[ written ]

[repudiate]

... That isn't even the biggest problem, you know. It's just.. you know what this place is like. People disappear all the time. Why would you want to settle for something temporary like that?

[ written ]

[fierybluebird]

Precisely because of that. You only have this moment, make it mean something.

[ written ]

[repudiate]

I don't know. I'd rather not have had it to start with rather than have it and lose it and be stuck with that regret forever.

[ written ]

[fierybluebird]

You'd regret losing it?

If you never have it to begin with, it's already lost.

[ written ]

[repudiate]

If you never have it to begin with, it's just never been there. It never existed.

That's a big difference.

[ written ]

[fierybluebird]

Speaking from experience, that's worse. You should never regret the time spent with another, even if they die or disappear.

[ written ]

[repudiate]

Then what could you even do to make up for the loss if they do disappear?

[ written ]

[fierybluebird]

Carry on with no regrets, the way they'd want you to.

My father would want me to look after my family, so that is what I'm doing.

[ written ]

[repudiate]

Yeah, but it's pretty hard to do what they want to, right? I'm sure anyone would want the people left behind to carry on without regrets, but that's such a hard and selfish thing to ask from them if you ask me.

[ written ]

[fierybluebird]

It is so much. Especially since when they're the ones gone, they're not the ones who have to deal with that burden at all. To be the last one standing... it's not something they understand.

It is still better this way though, and that's what they want.

[ written ]

[repudiate]

So I should just listen to the requests of selfish people, huh? I understand.

[ it's mostly meant a little joking - she's trying to hide her own feelings about it, since she knows it's true and she knows what it's like to be 'the last one standing' and how much it hurts. ]

[ written ]

[fierybluebird]

Yes.

[He's taking it jokingly since apparently she understands something he's not even used to sharing.]

It's often the selfish who get to dictate how things work. Such a pain, right? The best part, they think it's selfless of them.

[Well it is hard to argue with someone sacrificing their life to protect their family, but still, there are days Marco is less than appreciative of looking after the rest, always knowing he could lose them all before himself. It's a heavy burden; living on in spite of that.]

[repudiate]

Yeah, it's pretty sad, but.. they hurt you the most when they think they're actually helping you.

[ not that she is any different - she would do the same for her family. ]

And then you're left behind alone.

[fierybluebird]

Maybe we're just envious because we wish we could the same and join them again, eh?

[repudiate]

Of course all we want is being able to join them again, right? Especially when it's just you left, since you feel so lonely compared to them all being together somewhere beyond.